South Africa… a month later
It's been about a month since I've been home from South Africa, and I feel like I'm spending every moment missing how amazing it felt to be there. I learned so much about life and about myself, that I just feel like I need to go back, and be there again to keep digging deeper into myself. I wonder if doing that would help me find my life's purpose - something that I've been trying to find for so, so long. But, perhaps Cape Town just gave me the tools I need to bloom into the person I am truly supposed to be.
The biggest and probably most important thing my trip to South Africa brought me, was forcing me to break my boundaries and do things I didn't really want to. I did so many things I didn't want to, like high-speed quad biking in the sand. You're probably thinking I'm really silly for not wanting to do something like that - I mean we were in freaking South Africa for crying out loud, you could see Table Mountain from those dunes, how could I not wanna go? Well, I'll be brutally honest: that shit scared me. And that's the simplest I way I could put it for you, I was scared to do that, so I didn't want to. But you know what, I signed up because it was what my friends wanted to do... and while I was pretty scared the whole time, I still had at least a little bit of fun ;). So my point is, I surprised myself, and I had fun doing something I was convinced I would hate... and I learned to admit that to myself. There were also a few terrifying things that I could not get myself to do (skydiving and bungee jumping for example), but I've become okay with that because I still did a number of things I didn't expect myself to do, and I'm proud of myself for the boundaries that I did manage to break on this trip.
Before embarking on this trip of a lifetime, I was convinced that I was going to make no friends and be bound to hanging out with the few people I already knew... which was A-OK with me. And when I got there, sitting in a classroom full of people who looked, sounded, and acted nothing like me - I was even more convinced it would just be the small group I was already friends with. But again, I surprised myself, and I made some of the best friends a girl could ever ask for. And I mean the best and coolest people I could ever have in my corner. The universe was really in my corner this time. I'm actually tearing up a little bit writing this out because I miss them all so much - you know who you are - seriously, we need to get together soon. Had I not been opening to meeting and opening up to these people, my life would be lacking several incredible people... People who made me laugh and taught me so much over our short period of time together. Two weeks may not seem like enough time to truly get to know someone, but trust me when I say I've never felt more like myself with a group of people. It was just effortless bonding, giggling, and eating - and in one of the coolest places on Earth.
I thought that this trip would be absolutely perfect, and I'd get to cross so many things off my bucket list, that I wasn't even really concerned about what could go wrong, and what wouldn't go my way. Honestly, that was the way to go about it too, but there were a few things that I just really wasn't expecting, and frankly, I still wish certain situations had panned out differently. I was so excited to go cage diving, and finally be able to cross that off of the tippy-top of my bucket list. While I did get in the cage, there were no sharks, so I refused to cross it off of the list. Honestly, I was heartbroken, our boat getting no sharks, and seeing the other boat from a distance get so many. It was really hard for me to lift my head up and be positive about the situation. But I really just had to keep telling myself that I'd be back to do it again, and that time, we'd get all the sharks. So, guess I'm going back to South Africa at some point in the future.
In a society so full of technology and social media, we feel the pressure to constantly be documenting what we're doing in order to come across as "cool." And in a place like South Africa, it was easy to want to get the perfect Insta shot to post, and for the first few days I was really hung up on that. Then on one of our day trips as a big group, I looked around and saw everyone getting Instagram pictures during the entire fifteen minutes we were stopped somewhere. I decided then that I didn't want to look back on my trip like that, I wanted to remember living in the moment and taking it all in through my eyes, not a lens. Of course, I still got my Instagram pictures, but I just snapped a few things and put my phone away - Africa is much more beautiful through my own eyes than through the pictures I took, and I hope one day everyone reading this can experience it. Also, getting to know new people is so much easier when your phone isn't out, taking you away from your conversations. Hanging up and hanging out is something that I used not only across the globe, but here at home too. I don't find the need to have my phone glued to me at all times... I don't carry it around the house with me and I leave it in my purse for the most part when I'm out. And it's crazy how much more fun a concert was without me having to film every song and have to constantly be taking pictures :)
It's important to note and hard to cope with the fact that good things don't last forever. It's the sad truth. I couldn't stay in Africa forever. Leaving broke my heart. I can't even listen to Africa by Toto without wanting to cry now (I bet some of my Lead Abroad friends can relate to that right now). But, it's also important to note that good things leave a lasting impact on your life forever, and my trip to South Africa won't be soon forgotten. In fact, I learned so much that it's something that I'll be thinking and talking about for a long time - at least until I'm able to go back again... Trust me, I'm already figuring that one out. Though my adventure through South Africa is over now, I know that my next great adventure is coming to find me right now. So, good things don't last forever, but more good things are always coming.
So make sure you're really living it up in the moment, be present, and take it all in. You never know when you'll get to experience something like that again. And who knows, you might be looking back on that moment for the rest of your life.