walk out of the darkness
I'm not really sure how to start this, or how to even write this at all. But, Julia suggested I write about my walk yesterday, and I think that's a great idea. I do however kind of think that just writing about walking around my college campus to raise awareness for suicide prevention isn't enough, because that's all we really did. I will however say, that my school raised over $16,000 for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, which is pretty spectacular. But like I said, I don't think it's enough for a blog post for me to just say that I walked to raise awareness for suicide and suicide victims.
Back in high school, I really, really struggled with my mental health. I had really bad depression, and really bad anxiety. And I could try to come up with so many things that may have caused me to be that way, but the truth is, it just happened, whether it was for a reason, or for no reason. But for those few years, I was entirely convinced that I was completely alone in all that I was feeling. None of my friends seemed to be going through the same thing, and no one seemed to understand. But I never was, and yesterday alone was proof enough. No matter how much you're struggling, no matter what you're dealing with, there is always someone who can relate to you in some way. There are always people willing to help you, and they want to help you. I've come to learn that even a complete stranger will go out of their way to help you sometimes.
Back then, I may have felt entirely alone, but I feel better now knowing that I wasn't, and I feel better now knowing that those who are currently struggling don't have to do it alone either. I still feel so weird writing about this topic, even though it feels like it happened a hundred years ago. Talking about it seems so foreign and weird and honestly still touchy to some, even though I knew it so well. But I'm happy to know that the stigma placed on mental health isn't as bad anymore. Perhaps my mental health journey will be a story for another time, but this isn't just about me. This is about all the people who have lost someone to suicide, this is about all the lives lost, this is about everyone who's considered taking their own life, we walked for those people.